Dave's our Man

This was another piece in the latest newsletter:

Have you ever spotted some activity that required a police presence, immediately called the local police station and -after sitting on the line for half an hour visualising BT executives rubbing their hands in glee while you became slowly insensitized to soporific muzak - decided to quietly forget the whole thing?

Well in answer to a stream of complaints (when people actually managed to get through to the officers cowering at the other end of the phone) the local constabulary has come up with a solution.

Yep, Mr Dave Austin has agreed/been told to agree to pick up the poison chalice of being the local communities contact point for ANY illegal activity. This runs from serious crime to anti-social behaviour, graffiti, noise pollution, fly-tipping etc.

The idea is that if you have a concern simply call Dave’s mobile (0793 0695716), leave a message and he’ll get back to you pronto.

Whether he’ll quietly dump the phone and run off into the sunset after a barrage of calls only time will tell, but for now lets see if this works.